Thursday, August 21, 2008

There's a monster under the car!!!! by Jeff the Cat

I was just returning from a morning of killing everything in sight when I spotted my favourite cat food under the car.

I strutted my handsome body over to the food, lowered my sexy head to the plate when to my left I saw big, yellow glowing eyes!!!! REALLY BIG EYES!!!! THEY WERE BIGGER THAN THOSE ROUND THINGS ON THE CAR!!!!

Before I knew it the big yellow eyes darted for me with the speed of a sneeze blowing snot across Bindi's food bowl! Now THAT'S fast!

I screamed and ran for my precious little life!!!! I looked back. The big yellow eyes were still behind me with foam pouring from it's mouth!!! It growl so fierce and loud that my whiskers fell out!

I screamed again and dived under the porch ramp ripping the hair and flesh off my formerly handsome back. Blood squirted out everywhere!!! Bindi ran around with our food dish trying to catch it so he could put it back in me.

My guts were dangling out between my ribs!!! I looked....I looked...I looked like one really cool zombie!!!!!

After the damage was done, the human decide to make a grand appearance. Naturally she yelled at me, but I was hiding so I didn't care.

Then I heard a scream! The human had seen the ferocious monster!!!! She screamed again...it was her last. In a flash the ferocious monster flew through the air and ripped out her throat. My human was dead.

The end.



The story from the human's view:

So Morris the big yellow cat, with the big yellow eyes launched an attack on little Jeff. Most likely because he was eating his food.

Anyway, Jeff wasn't kidding about his back...well....he exaggerated it...but it did sound like he had ripped his back off when he dived under the ramp.

Boy is fast! His little feet were flying trying to get to safety.

Morris got his life threatened. He's a nice cat, but he needs to learn to keep his bloody little paws off my babies.

So that was Jeff's big adventure for the day.


Closing note from Jeff:

Human! You tell really boring stories. My was much better.


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2 comments:

Unknown said...

Jeff - your story was so scary I was afraid you would be ripped to death! I am not happy with Morris now and I sure hope the human treated your wounds! Poor baby....Boots sends kitty kisses.

Yobeeone said...

Feel free to send catnip too! (evil grin from Jeff)