The evil human dragged me off all by me lil' self to the vet today. I confess - I cried. I'm only telling you so you'll feel sorry for me.
Anyway, while I was there, three big dogs, one elephant and a rhino tried to eat me. Then the evil vet grabbed my zit and squeezed it. He squeezed, and squeezed and suddenly my zit turned into an exploding potty!!!
My little eyes bugged out of my head, like eyeballs on springs! Blood and puss gushed out everywhere! The floor was flooded with my zit! The vet threw up! The human passed out and my eyeballs were still bouncing like springs.
After the vet finished barfing, he shoved a golf ball down my throat!!!! A big purple one!!! He claimed it was some sort of pill that would make me feel better. I wish I'd had a 9 iron and I'd made him feel better.
Anyway, I'm recouperating by beating the crap out of everyone in the barnyard. OH!! THERE'S PEE WEE!!! THE EVIL BEAST WHO STUCK HIS CLAW IN MY HEAD TO BEGIN WITH!!! CURSE YOU PEE WEE!!!! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!!
Jeff's Big Zit, by the Human
Ugh! Welp, Jeff's big zit cost me another $37 bucks today. It was really gross when the vet popped it. Blood and puss went flowing out everywhere.
I was really surprised Jeff just sat there taking it. The vet was too. He'd never seen such a nice cat. Jeff was insulted by being called the nicest animal that he'd seen that day. That's probably why he's beating the crap out of everyone.
Anyway, he's on some new antibiotic pill. If the swelling isn't gone in 10 days and his eye hasn't stopped watering so much, he has to go back to the vet. They'll make him drowsy, cut open his zit and see what's in there. I think it's Pee Wee's claw.
Anyway, hopefully it will be gone or I'll have a really nasty bill to pay. (yo whimpers and heads for a cuppa tea.)
3 comments:
GROSS!! I am gagging, Boots is thinking about a puck session. Poor Jeff. Hope this takes care of things. Gosh you think you got a free cat and then you find out you have to take care of them and the Vet bills are awful. I know. Boots was born in a barn, came to me free and has cost me a fortune!
puke not puck LOL
How dare you confuse me! I can't find the word puke or puck for the life of me. ROFL!!!!
Between last month and this the kids have cost me $87.50 in vet bills and about $40 or so in food. LOL Oy vey!
I'm still squeezing Jeff's little zit. More puss came out this morning. Poor baby. I know he's sick of this already, but I have to do it for another 8 days.
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