She tried to poke my eye out!!!

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful sexy eye that lived in my left socket. Then along came an evil cat, named Kitty, who tried to remove it with her claw. I hate Kitty. I still have my eye, but I’m blind. Did I mention that I hate Kitty?

Anyway, my pet human is really mad at her. She makes sure the two of us are never outside at the same time and if we are, evil Kitty has to be in the big dog cage. If I'm inside, she has to be out. I like it this way. muuhahahahaaa....

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Picky picky picky

My human is so picky. So what if I tinkled in her tub this week and other times that I refuse to admit to. It was in the bathroom! She tinkles there! I didn't use the potty because I could fall in! So, I'm going to leave it up to you. Take the poll and you decide if I should be allowed.

Jeff the Vampire! --A Tale by Jeff of the Fang!

Jeff the Vampire raises his evil head to strike at his trapped little brother Bindi! Evil Jeff, evil!!!!!!









He strikes again! This time more ferocious than the first! Bindi lies helpless, an innocent victim of the dreaded Jeff the Vampire.

And they lived bitefully ever after!

The End

grrrr...growl growl by Squeeky or how the Squeek saved the human!

The sneeky beast came through the woods staring at my human. Being human, the idiot never heard a thing. The beastie glared at me. I growled. He glared some more. I growled some more.

The human turned to see what was wrong with me. The two cowards, Jeff and Bindi, hid behind the human and peeked around her. HA!!!! I'VE EXPOSED YOU LITTLE SISSIES!!! NOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS YOU'RE WHIMPS!!! CHICKENS!!! BABIES!!!! MUUUHAHAHAAAAAAAAA.....

As I was saying, the babies hid behind the human and I continued to growl. Then from somewhere on the hill there was a snort so loud that it sent the hair on my sexy body straight back. It's breath nearly knocked me out, but I stood my ground and growled even louder!!!

The human was excited! She kept patting me and saying, "Good Squeeky!!! You found a deer!!! Good girl!!!"

DEER? DEER? IS SHE BLIND???? IT WAS SASQUATCH!!!!! IT WAS A BIG SMELLY SASQUATCH!!!!

Obviously I have to go with her every time she's on the hill now. She's so deaf, blind and human that she'll probably get herself killed if I don't.

So despite the sneers and geers from the whimps behind me - that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Bindi and Jeff's Big Adventure! The Search for Wild Leeks!

Part 1

Part 2

How dare you human!!!!

The human took us on a long adventure today. We hiked 27 miles, 3 feet, 2 inches. The sun made me sleepy. I passed out twice and was dragged away once by a bug-eyed squirrel named Sam. I hate Sam. He used my head for a nutcracker. CURSE YOU SAM!!! I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!

Anyway, the human rescued me and took me home. I was exhausted from my head cracking nuts and fell asleep. Naturally, the human couldn't let me lie in peace. NOOOOOO she had to sneak up and take my handsome pic!

Have you ever noticed how ugly humans are when they sleep? I'm glad I'm not a human, because we cats are just dang sexy no matter what! Come on! Look at my pics! Am I the sexiest cat you've ever seen or what???

The human is mocking me. CURSE YOU HUMAN!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!

(The human is wearing shorts and running for her hairless life. Please place your bets online. First place, wins Jeff! Second place wins Jeff! And third place wins Jeff! Yes, here at Bindi's Bets everyone's a winner!

Squeeky: Bindi, how can everyone win Jeff?

Bindi: I'm chopping him into pieces! I never said they were getting everything! They couldn't handle everything! How many times has our human had herself committed?)

And off in the distance is the sound of a screaming human having it's legs ripped to shreds by a crazed cat.

Beware Spring Migrators!!! Jeff is on the prowl!

"FEAR ME BIRDIES!!!!"

You can't live without it...Jeff insists.

Jeff's Press (he insisted on having one) presents:

Don't let the title fool ya! This is really one terrific book of cat stories! You'll fall in love with Pretty Lady! You'll fall for every kitten! Best of all, the book is housebroken! So, pop over and check out the intro page that has a couple excerpts from the book and then pay the whopping $4.95 for it!

Jeff said to mention that it comes with 10 free recipes to make exciting goodies for your cat. I think Jeff is hinting at me. He keeps smacking me with the skillet.

Welp, I'm outa here! Go buy the book or Jeff will come after you. :]