Another amputation thwarted

I sat on my favourite perch (the bookcase) and watched as one of the kittens from hell struggled to free it’s little leg from the hole it’s brother had ripped in the wall of their playhouse. I wanted to ask my human for popcorn while I enjoyed the show, but I was afraid she’d notice and rescue the little brat who keeps eating my food.

Sadly, the little kittens screamed loud enough that the human found him. He fought her off when she tried to free his leg. I cheered, “Rip your leg off, sissy! Come on! Rip it off!” He got mad, called me a few names I didn’t know kittens his age knew, and continued flopping about like a fish out of water.

The human gave up and ran for the kids scissors. We did have adult scissors in the house, you know the ones that are sharp and pointy on the end, but she caught me chasing Bindi through the house trying to kill him for puking in our food bowl and that was that.

Anyway, she managed to cut his leg free and he was off to the litterbox. I think it scared the crap out of him. So, now there’s this even bigger hole in the side of the playhouse than there was before. The human was determined it wouldn’t happen again. And the stupid little kitten still has his leg. I can't believe all the money I lost. I bet I could have made a fortune selling it on eBay.


(This has been another exciting story by Jeff the Cat. See my sexy photo in the right hand corner.)

I'm not arrogant!

Geesh! Just because I keep a mirror in the litterbox, my sleeping hideout, and various places in the barnyard, everyone things I'm arrogant. Geesh!

Now they're on me because I opened my own store and put only my face on everything. I can't help it if I'm better looking and everyone adores me. So, take a look and tell me I was wrong.

Jeff gets framed!

A twist on the mean little kitty song!

This kid is good! I love how he tweaked the music!

cats and humans of all ages!!!!

I, Jeff the Cat, have my Beijing Olympics ebay page ready to go!

Jeff's Official Beijing Olympic's eBay page!

Pop in and start bidding on an oversized B.O. t-shirt (that's beijing olympics, not body odour) for your cat!

Get him tickets to the games! And one for me! Not my human, just me. WAIT!!! WHAT??? THEY EAT CATS???? AND DOGS???? NO NO NO!!! DO NOT BUY A TICKET FOR YOUR CAT!!!! or ME!

Wait!!! Late breaking news from China!!! The Chinese will not permit cats to come to the games, but all dogs are welcome! Especially big thick ones. So, there you have it! Buy a ticket and send your dog!

grrrr...growl growl by Squeeky or how the Squeek saved the human!

The sneeky beast came through the woods staring at my human. Being human, the idiot never heard a thing. The beastie glared at me. I growled. He glared some more. I growled some more.

The human turned to see what was wrong with me. The two cowards, Jeff and Bindi, hid behind the human and peeked around her. HA!!!! I'VE EXPOSED YOU LITTLE SISSIES!!! NOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS YOU'RE WHIMPS!!! CHICKENS!!! BABIES!!!! MUUUHAHAHAAAAAAAAA.....

As I was saying, the babies hid behind the human and I continued to growl. Then from somewhere on the hill there was a snort so loud that it sent the hair on my sexy body straight back. It's breath nearly knocked me out, but I stood my ground and growled even louder!!!

The human was excited! She kept patting me and saying, "Good Squeeky!!! You found a deer!!! Good girl!!!"

DEER? DEER? IS SHE BLIND???? IT WAS SASQUATCH!!!!! IT WAS A BIG SMELLY SASQUATCH!!!!

Obviously I have to go with her every time she's on the hill now. She's so deaf, blind and human that she'll probably get herself killed if I don't.

So despite the sneers and geers from the whimps behind me - that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Bindi and Jeff's Big Adventure! The Search for Wild Leeks!

Part 1

Part 2

I'm so cute! by Bindi

I know I could write something about myself. In fact, if I were Jeff - I would. But let's face it, with a face like this - there's just no words to do me justice.

(and somewhere in the background Jeff pukes)

Jeff - Rated D for death

Sad moment in the week.

Tough day. The tabby whose the kittens/cats father showed up lame. He had been missing for a little over a week.

The vet said his jaw was broken, most of the roof of his mouth was gone and deeply infected, half his tongue was missing and he had a wound on his right hip. His mouth is most likely the result of getting hold of an electric fence, and somewhere during his fight to get home he was attacked.

The thing that crushes me little heart is knowing from the moment it happened he had me in mind. He knew if he could just get home I'd do everything possible to help him. How he survived as long as he did without water or food is amazing. And to have fought his way home when he was in such incredible pain is even more so.

The vet said he might be able to repair him, but the most humane thing we could do was put him to sleep. I agreed. In fact, when I took him in I was pretty certain he wouldn't be coming out again.

As demented as it sounds, I'd rather see a human suffer any day than an animal. A human can at least express how he's feeling. He can also help himself in some way. An animal can't.

On the bright side, the ornery cat is no longer in pain, and for that I'm thankful.

Night of the Sneaky Attack

See spot sleep? Sleep Spot, sleep. Spot looks sweet, but Spot is a sneak. Spot sneaks his scent all through the house. Spot thinks it's neat. His human thinks it stinks.

See stinky sheet? Stink sheet, stink! Spotty sprayed it stinky as his human watched in fright. His human yelled, "Die!" And Spot thought, "I might!"

See Spot run? Run Spot, run!!!

THE END